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Musings

You Probably Think This Poem Is About You

A Series of Poems About You


There is so much I want to say

But I want to say it to you

I mean I don't want to want to say it to you

But that's just the thing, it's a feeling

An urge

And it's controllable

I just ignore it

And I do my best to ignore you

But you're interesting

And kind when you want to be

And I'm fragile and hopeless

And a sucker for breadcrumbs and bombs

Because I know better

I think I always have

But here in my vulnerable state, I don't give a fuck

And I hazard to guess you don't either

________________________________________


I know you because you know me

You have diligently carved a space for me in your life

In time and silence and cartons of eggs

And yet I sit and wonder why

Who cares for broken people?

Wraps them in care and tenderness?

What made me worthy of your kindness?

________________________________________


I hate you

Right now in this moment

I hate you

I wish you weren't kind to me

I wish you were

________________________________________


It's all just bubbling up

Stuck in my chest

Stacks of books, rainy days, wood stoves, muted tones, cigarettes, unspoken truths

Disconnect

Stuck in my chest

There it is

That feeling

_______________________________________


I've never written a poem that wasn't about love

About you, the universe, and me

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