A Series of Poems About You
There is so much I want to say
But I want to say it to you
I mean I don't want to want to say it to you
But that's just the thing, it's a feeling
An urge
And it's controllable
I just ignore it
And I do my best to ignore you
But you're interesting
And kind when you want to be
And I'm fragile and hopeless
And a sucker for breadcrumbs and bombs
Because I know better
I think I always have
But here in my vulnerable state, I don't give a fuck
And I hazard to guess you don't either
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I know you because you know me
You have diligently carved a space for me in your life
In time and silence and cartons of eggs
And yet I sit and wonder why
Who cares for broken people?
Wraps them in care and tenderness?
What made me worthy of your kindness?
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I hate you
Right now in this moment
I hate you
I wish you weren't kind to me
I wish you were
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It's all just bubbling up
Stuck in my chest
Stacks of books, rainy days, wood stoves, muted tones, cigarettes, unspoken truths
Disconnect
Stuck in my chest
There it is
That feeling
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I've never written a poem that wasn't about love
About you, the universe, and me