Three Takes

At the beginning of this year, I started working my way, for a second time, through The Artist's Way Workbook by Julia Cameron. I often enjoy guided journaling and thought I could use Cameron's workbook as a great jumping-off point. Particularly since I was adamant that I use the workbook and not splurge to purchase the actual book it is meant to accompany. My previous perfectionist self is sloppily tied up in the basement of my brain for the three months this process will take and I am hoping by the end of it all it will be much more docile.

These are three 'prayers' I wrote in response to task six of week four.

1.

Gentle, woman, kind and sweet do not stray

You know your true worth

You deserve all you meet

An artist is who you want to be 

Gentle, woman, kind and sweet 

You are your own creator

A god of mythical powers

Make for yourself what you wish 

2.

I am my own god in the most wonderful of ways

I am the fire breathing dragon 

I am the knight in shining armor

I am the princess

I am everything I need and more

3.

I, a created being hold creation in my hands 

Endowed with powers beyond my imagination

I am the fire breathing dragon 

I am the knight in shining armor

I am the princess

Above all, I am a creator 

School

I'm supposed to understand and know

To repeat and regurgitate 

While pretending I have ideas of my own. 

I'm meant to do this and then that

But never this and than that. 

I need to listen and understand, act quickly, make decisions, feel confident, show it off,

Be happy

But not too happy. 

Maybe I should just be me. 

And well maybe we should each sit in the corner and think long and hard. 

I went to the library

I'm at the library but I've already read nine books this year.

My brain is brimming with words.

Words upon words.

There are too many and there's been a bottleneck.

They're all crammed together.

Impervious is tangled with thicket.

There is just enough room for cat to slip past.

Heart-to-heart is thinking about breaking up so one can go on.

They're all mixed up and my brain is trying to sort them but it's not quite sure how.

And my hand is hurting from writing.