Acceptance

I will not kneel at your feet

Climb mountains or sail the sea

I will hold firm in my belief in myself

My honesty and compassion

For my love knows no bounds but my body has experienced

It has seen, and felt, touched and tasted

It has heard your words

And I will protect my heart by placing it deep inside

Surrounded by guts and cradled in warmth

Infused with life

My love is my own

To protect and share and revel in

Perceived

I am collectible

Like a special edition Barbie

Or that rare holographic Charizard card

I'm a novelty

You want to put me on your shelf

Tell everyone you know I've been added to your collection

But it's all for the sake of having

Being able to say you've brushed shoulders with the rare and unusual

You're interested in the oohs and aahs

The inevitable questions

The giddy excitement of whispering my secrets

I don't blame you

How could I?

I collect too

Stories and tales infused in the bodies of the inanimate

I search for that which draws me closer to the chaos of our world

I am entropy embodied

My existence epitomizes the unknowable

The confusion and heartbreak

Awe

I've been on a bit of a creative kick recently. Maybe it's the super full moon, or the transition to the fall season, or just my personal journey. Whatever it is this creativity of mine has really centered on themes of womanhood, patriarchal structures, and the spaces we make and embody as women. But most importantly I've been considering what it means to be perceived in this capitalist, neo-colonialist, patriarchal society. Doing this work has me thinking about and finding inspiration in other women's work. Sometimes when I see gorgeous quilts on glossy pages or talks of residencies or perfectly aesthetic studio spaces I feel this pressure in my chest. Right there slightly to the left where my heart is rhythmically pumping I feel this pull. This yearning that I spent the majority of my life identifying as jealousy.

But maybe what I am and have felt isn't jealousy or envy but awe. Society tells women that we're supposed to hate each other, envy each other, tear each other down. But maybe what I've always felt is awe at being a woman and seeing women do miraculous things. And maybe I've been afraid, not because I can't do what other women can but because I'm scared to not be what other women need.